Making progress

I know that I have come a long way mentally in the last few months. How do I know this? Without going into too much detail (cause I know my dad reads this...and well..you know), I had an excellent chance at being pregnant this month. No, we are not trying, but how can you NOT try when he is only home 2 weeks at a time..rofl

ANYWAY...needless to say, I'm not...but you know what? I'm ok with that now. I had no being upset like I have had in the past, no tears..nothing. Just moving on and getting the house ready for the next (and todd thinks last..I'm not sure) home visit on friday.

Me not getting upset is huge. After over 3 years (I stopped counting at 3 years) of trying, I guess you get numb. At least by adopting, you stop getting the 'it'll happen' 'just relax' 'stop trying, it's what I did' comments. Those were always hard and I had problems not erupting after the 500th time it was said to me (yes, i know they were just trying to comfort...but it's still hard). Now we get the 'now you'll get pregnant now that you are adopting' all the time. *sigh*

I did have a moment of sadness though...I have gone each and every holiday season for the last 3 years wanting to badly to give our families another grandchild. It was going to be our Christmas present to them. I even have the method thought out for each holiday (Vday, Christmas, birthday's, etc) So this year....maybe I can give a "congratulations, we are certified" certificate...think it'll mean as much?? LOL